No, this isn’t a 50 Shades of Gray blog post (sorry!). This is about my lost love affair with running.
Most people who have known me for a while know that I love(d) to run. I used to run 9 miles a day, constantly training for the next race. I used to look forward to running, tuning in and lacing up. It used to bring me peace, joy, and happiness. I used to know the feeling of a runner’s high.
Back in October, I ran a half marathon with little to no training. Stupid idea. As I was running, I wondered “why?” I realized that the only reason I was running was because I USED TO love and enjoy running. It became apparent to me around mile 7 that I no longer enjoyed it. As silly as it sounds, this made me super sad and disappointed. I had moved on.
Even now when people look at me and automatically assume I still run, I get a pain in my heart. The truth is, that I no longer get the same happiness and excitement from running. Since I practice what I preach, and I believe wholeheartedly that you shouldn’t continue doing a workout you don’t enjoy, I have stopped.
I have stopped and I feel much freer and able to explore other methods of exercise and wellness. I think that I used to be under the delusion that running was the only effective workout for my body. After coming back to Connecticut from working in Boston, I tried other forms of exercise which proved to be more fun and conducive to my lifestyle. When I decide to run now, it is typically just 2-3.5 miles at a time max or in interval fashion. I make running a supplement to my workouts, rather than just the focus. I have noticed that my legs aren’t nearly as strong as they used to be and I feel less cardiovascularly in shape but I am stronger overall than ever before. I think fondly back on my memories of running in Boston, early morning runs into Hartford, and races that I placed in.
Just as friends say, “this isn’t goodbye but a see you later!” This is how I feel with running. I won’t ever say I won’t go back to being the runner of my friend group. Perhaps it will serve a purpose in my future and I will embrace it with open arms and full lungs. For now, I will continue to do what I love most and that doesn’t include 5Ks and half marathons.
